"That's not exactly worked for me sofar, has it? I mean yes, I had fun with Lee, and with Simon, but, youknow? I look at Nikki and Sarah, and Alexa and Jenny..." And what's wrong with 'fun'?" Hendo asks with mock offence. "Friendlyreminder that I'm just as single as you are. And just 'cause all ourfriends are engaged or married, doesn't mean we should feel we need tobe, right?" Umm- okay, I guess," I mumble."Honestly, this obsession you've got with 'Prince Charming' reallyain't helping you, you know?" Hendo muses, making me frown and blush."You'll find him when you find him. No reason to let any other 'PrinceLess Charming's go in the meantime." So you're saying I shouldn't have chucked Lee?" I ask."...Yes and no," Hendo says, before sighing. "Don't- don't defineyourself by whether or not you're in a relationship, okay? Not whenyou've got so many other things going for you. And before you sayanything, you WILL get a job soon. And the boyfriend you deserve. Just-flaunt what you've got,. As friends. Like brother and sister. But NOT when they were in bed together. Shane wasn't supposed to say that word when--oh god--not when he was inside of her! The way Connor was inside of me. The day I married Shane, it had felt like a huge, uncertain piece of my future had finally clicked into place. For better or for worse, I thought my love life had been figured out: I would grow old with my husband, and that would be that. No more one night stands, no more boyfriends, no more surprises. But now? I felt untethered. My love life had just cut away the mooring ropes, and set sail without a map. I looked down at Connor's handsome face and saw the confusion his eyes, as well. Did I love Connor? Could I allow myself to love Connor? With the final barriers of physical intimacy now broken down between us, a flood of emotion poured out of me. I started crying. Can you believe it? I started crying, right there in Connor's arms. With his penis still filling my body. "Ria--" he whispered.
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